Is Perimenopause Affecting Work? How To Make Things Better

You can see from the image above that being stressed is a big deal. So it is the symptoms of perimenopause affecting work, not just perimenopause.

Yet if any of the other symptoms are present, then it is no wonder you would be stressed. Even just one of those other reasons would heighten your stress levels to a point they all get worse themselves. 

It is this nasty little cow bag of a roundabout that you just can’t seem to get off. 

Looking at that image you can understand why women would think about leaving their job, I did. 

I actually resigned but luckily my boss took the time and patience to redesign my job role to make me more comfortable. How lucky am I!

Too many women work in places where this is not going to happen and the sad thing is that they know it, so they stay quiet. 

There will be people reading this who do not seek medical advice to ease the symptoms of menopause, in fact, half of all women ride this wave alone. 

So with that in mind, there are at least 1.5 million women right now, suffering from all these symptoms and trying to keep it together. 

If 1 in 4 is considering leaving, we could be looking at just over 370,000 women potentially leaving the workforce. What horseshit is that!?

Should I tell my boss I’m going through menopause?

If we are to answer these questions honestly then we need to know why we ask them in the first place. 

Why are we not being truly honest and saying listen up lads, it’s hormonal and it’s time for you to listen and then enact change?

Well, some of the reasons can be:

• It is still considered a taboo subject. (Yawn)
• My workplace is all men and they won’t understand (I hear you)
• There is no menopause workplace policy so my company won’t take me seriously
• I don’t want to tell people stuff like that
• Work might fire me if I admit I am struggling
• People at work are going to treat me differently if I tell them
• I won’t get promoted if they think I am over the hill

It is no wonder that women are worried about their jobs if these are the reasons they don’t want to be honest about being perimenopausal. 

When it comes to deciding whether to tell your boss, I can’t give you the answer but I can suggest you consider the following when you feel the time is right to tell them:

1. Is there a menopause workplace policy in place already?
2. Is there a colleague or someone you trust at work you can speak to first to sound it out?
3. Would going directly to HR feel a little easier?
4. Can you think in advance of the ways that the company could help you? (to avoid the boss thinking they have to think of solutions which may not work? 

Only you can decide what feels right and when you want to say something but please know this, there are laws in place to prevent discrimination against menopausal women. 

Have a read of this if you need some confidence. 

Women have taken businesses to court and have won, so know that this is serious. You cannot be discriminated against because your estrogen decides to fall through the floor like a bowling ball down a well. 

How can the workplace help?

There are many small changes a business can make to help you feel better, and more comfortable in the office and not resign! 

Here are a few suggestions to help with perimenopause affecting work:

Temperature control

The dinner lady monitor of the thermometer needs to back off! 

If you need to have the temperature at a constant comfortable temperature then that is what you should have. 

If not, then they need to get you a fan for your desk. Even a desktop fan is ace, here is the one I have plugged into my laptop each day for my Beyonce-style hair on all Zoom calls. 

Uniforms

If you have to wear one for work then have the conversation about menopausing it up. It needs to be loose, breathable fabric that is an appropriate colour for when things get a little heated! 

Flexible Working

This should not be a foreign concept to businesses today so you can always ask that on the days that you just can’t cope and it’s all too much. You can stay home in your PJs and work from home. 

Slapping on your make-up and faking a smile when you feel like crying, you are burning up, your hips hurt, you can’t remember if you fed your dog and you have a rage inside of you that could take down a small army, is no fun. So ask if they can accommodate you on these days.

Access to Fresh Cold Water

Aside from the need to cool down quickly when hot flush lands, making sure we are dehydrated helps massively with concentration. We need to keep that oxygen flowing smoothly, so in times when concentration is a struggle access to cold fresh water is a must.

Time Off For Appointments

Being diagnosed as perimenopausal can take a while, there are blood tests, doctor visits, medication visits, checkups and reviews. Not being made to feel like an idiot for this would be much appreciated. The eye roll and glancing at the watch by a manager will only make things worse.

What can you do to make life easier at work? 

There is a lot you can do to make your life easier at work. I have become a master of managing symptoms, largely because it took me years to get diagnosed as perimenopausal and I had to learn how to cope. 

Here are some ideas to cope with the three most common issues at work: 

Less able to concentrate

This is a tough one to monitor but brain fog is a big deal and the only way I could cope with my busy work life was to be organised.

 Organised like that one kid at school who always had everything they needed for food tech.

When I was quietly questioning if I had dementia, I realised that I needed a way to remember things. Not forget key action points and make sure that I could concentrate for more than 4 minutes. 

So I started out by time blocking. 

There are LOADS on Youtube about this, in fact, here is a great video that helped me a lot. 

Time blocking meant that I planned my day out and knew that each hour was the max time I had to get something done. This stopped me from procrastinating and I knew I only had to stay in the zone, on that one topic, for 60 minutes maximum.

The second thing I did is record ALL my meetings on my iPhone. It didn’t matter what or where I was, I told people I was recording the meeting and 99% of people had no issue with it. 

I told them I preferred to be present and chat than be head down taking notes. It works well. 

Then I would listen back to the key points I was hazy about and boom we didn’t miss anything. 

For those of you who think this is daft and prefer to take notes, just know that I would forget what I said myself! 

Whole paragraphs of information and you never take notes about the things you have said…

Feeling more stressed

Everyone has a different tolerance for stress. Some women cope well and some women, like me, do not.

I can only tell you what worked for me and it was a mixture of creating a rock-solid bedtime routine, a stable morning routine, and a cheeky bit of meditation. 

Remembering on the daily that I refuse to let work stress kill me by drip feeding me cortisol. 

The bedtime routine is not about a long bath, a facial and quiet reading in bed, although that is delicious, it was to make sure before my head hit the pillow, the following had been done: 

The kid’s uniform is ironed, packed lunches are made and in the fridge. The school bags and shoes are by the door. One kid has his raffle money, the other kid has his gum shield for rugby. The breakfast is set out on the table ready for the morning.  Dogs leads are by the door. Tomorrows wash is in the washing machine ready to be switched on. I know what I am wearing tomorrow and the alarm is set depending on if I need to wash my hair in the morning or not. 

This sounds a lot but let me tell you, I can nail this in 30 mins tops. 

This tick list of things means that in the morning the only thing I have to think about is drinking my tea (Yorkshire obvs) and waking up the sleeping grunters.

This is by far the most important thing I have ever done in my life. 

I know that sounds dramatic but legging it out the door late, screaming at the kids, and making them hate me, fuels Mum guilt.

How on earth can you be expected to have a stress-free day at work? 

Ever since the wonderful Mel Robbins introduced me to the evening routine, my life changed. True story. Here is a link to that video. 

Less confident in my abilities

Don’t believe your own bullshit. I’ll start there. 

It is NOT your fault you are feeling like this. Nature is robbing you of a hormone and it is making you feel sad, anxious, in pain, forgetful, stressed and hot. 

So, of course, you are going to have a dip in confidence. 

My job is as an Account Manager and my role is to take care of clients and make them feel important and cared for. 

I forget most of their names on the daily. I forget whole conversations and god help them if they talk out of turn or are sexist in any way, I become a little too confident in correcting their shitty behaviour. 

So yep, I am less confident in my ability but I also know how to be kind to myself. 

This is not my fault. I will do everything in my power to help myself cope with perimenopause affecting work until I have this under control or I am postmenopausal. 

But until then ladies, I am very confident that I am good at what I do, I am quite literally going through a life-changing stage and if that means I fuck up now and then, well, so be it.

This all goes for you too.

Closing Thoughts On Perimenopause Affecting Work

Our bodies are changing, it is a stressful time enough without work making us feel worse. 

We need to be confident that, when and if we choose to tell work that we are menopausal, they treat us with the respect we deserve. 

This is not an easy ride, it is scary, painful and can be debilitating. 

If we are allowed a few changes to make our life easier then we won’t leave, your employer won’t lose the wealth of knowledge we have nor will they have to fork out the massive amount it will cost to recruit to replace you.

It really is a win-win if your employer helps you navigate these waters with kindness and understanding. 

Kathryn x